Glossary terms beginning with R
The plain-language glossary behind The Architecture of Intimacy — a field guide to 369 green flags of healthy relationships.
Terms beginning with R
- random assignment randomly assigned
- Placing people into study conditions purely by chance, so any later difference between the groups can be credited to the condition itself rather than to who chose it.
- RCT (randomized controlled trial) RCT · multisite randomised controlled trial · pilot randomized controlled trial · randomized controlled experiment · randomized controlled trial · randomized controlled trial (RCT) · randomized trial · randomized-controlled clinical trial
- A study that randomly assigns people to different conditions (e.g., a treatment vs. none) so that any resulting difference can be attributed to the treatment itself.
- reactance behavioral resistance
- The pushback a person feels when their freedom seems threatened or controlled — often responding by resisting, ignoring the prompt, or doing the opposite of what was urged.
- reassurance-seeking ERS · excessive reassurance seeking · excessive reassurance-seeking
- Repeatedly asking a partner for proof of being loved and worthy even after reassurance has already been given, so the need for comfort keeps returning rather than settling.
- reciprocal style of teaching reciprocal teaching
- A paired learning format in which two people take turns being the doer and the observer-coach, so each person both practices the skill and gives feedback.
- reciprocal vulnerability
- Meeting a partner's personal disclosure by offering one of your own at a comparable depth, so opening up becomes a shared, back-and-forth risk rather than a one-sided one.
- reciprocity reciprocal · reciprocally
- A turn-taking logic across a relationship: one partner leading now implies the other leading later, with both trusting the give-and-take will balance out over time.
- reconciliation
- The interpersonal rebuilding of a relationship after harm, which depends on sustained trustworthy behavior over time until trust returns — distinct from the internal act of forgiveness.
- reconnecting touch post-conflict touch · reconnecting hug
- A hug or wordless physical gesture a partner offers after a hard talk has ended, marking the shift out of conflict and signaling that the bond survived the disagreement.
- recovery recovery experiences
- In work-stress research, the process of unwinding and replenishing energy during non-work time, so depletion from the workday does not carry forward unbroken.
- recovery contract daily sobriety check-in
- A short daily ritual in which one partner states the intention to stay sober that day and the other responds with support, often paired with agreed recovery practices.
- recovery sabotage
- Staying angry and perseverating on a fight during the cool-down afterward instead of re-engaging warmly — the opposite of quick, warm recovery.
- redemption sequence redemption (in life narrative) · redemptive meaning
- A story pattern in which suffering leads somewhere good — a hard chapter told as the thing that produced growth, meaning, or a stronger bond.
- reflective functioning
- The capacity to make sense of behavior, your own and other people's, in terms of the feelings, wishes, and thoughts driving it underneath, rather than taking reactions at face value.
- reflective listening
- Feeding back to a speaker what you heard them say, often including the emotion underneath their words, so they feel received.
- registered replication report registered replication
- A large, pre-planned study that follows agreed methods, often across several labs or samples, to test whether an earlier finding holds up.
- reinforcement reinforcing sobriety
- Rewarding a behavior — with warmth, acknowledgment, or pleasant shared activity — so that it becomes more likely to happen again; the deliberate opposite of leaving good days unnoticed.
- reintegration homecoming · post-deployment transition
- The period after a service member returns home from deployment, when the couple re-adjusts routines, roles, and closeness to living together again.
- rejection sensitivity
- A tendency to anxiously expect, readily perceive, and overreact to rejection, which can lead someone to act in ways that create the very distress they feared.
- rejection-sensitive dysphoria RSD · rejection-sensitive distress
- An intense, fast, painful reaction to perceived criticism or rejection, described mainly in people with ADHD; a clinical description in wide use, not a formal diagnosis.
- relational catalyst support RC support · catalyst support
- Support aimed at your growth rather than your comfort — help that leaves you feeling both seen and capable of pursuing a goal, not just soothed.
- relational humor
- Humor a couple produces together — shared jokes, running bits, co-created laughter — as opposed to either partner's individual funniness or one partner finding the other funny.
- relational meaning-making meaning-making · shared sense-making
- Two partners building a shared interpretation of a painful event together, out loud, so the hardship becomes part of a story both endorse rather than two private conclusions.
- relational savoring
- Savoring focused on the relationship itself — deliberately dwelling on moments of closeness with a partner to draw warmth and security from the memory.
- relational spirituality
- The specific religious or spiritual beliefs and behaviors people direct at their close relationships, rather than faith held only as private, individual conviction.
- relational turbulence relational turbulence framework · relational turbulence model · relational turbulence theory
- A theory that relationship transitions heighten uncertainty and disrupt the smooth coordination partners rely on, which makes ordinary irritations feel sharper and the period more turbulent.
- relational uncertainty partner uncertainty · relationship uncertainty · self uncertainty
- The lack of confidence a person has in predicting or explaining the status of a relationship — doubt about your own feelings, your partner's, or where the relationship itself is headed.
- relationship jet lag jet lag
- The disoriented feeling of still acting out the habits of a past relationship phase, like separation, while now living in a different one, such as reunion.
- relationship maintenance maintenance behavior · maintenance behaviors · maintenance strategies · relational maintenance · relationship maintenance behaviors · relationship-maintenance behavior
- The ordinary, repeated behaviors partners use to keep a bond in good repair — such as positivity, spoken assurances, openness, sharing tasks, and shared social networks.
- relationship visibility
- The degree to which someone makes a romantic partnership apparent in how they present themselves online: how openly the relationship shows up in their feed and profile.
- relationship-enhancing attribution benevolent attribution · benign attribution · relationship-enhancing attributions · relationship-enhancing read
- Reading a partner's lapse as caused by something outside them, temporary, and specific to the moment — for example, that a deadline ate the afternoon.
- relationship-protection account
- The proposal that people make a relationship visible partly to guard it: to mark a partner as taken and fend off potential rivals.
- reliability over time
- Showing up with the same care across months, seasons, and shifting moods, so a partner can count on your good behavior holding its shape rather than vanishing.
- religiously heterogamous heterogamy by religion · interfaith
- Describing a couple whose partners belong to different religions or faith traditions, rather than sharing the same one; an interfaith pairing.
- reminiscing (savoring mode) reminiscence
- Returning to a past good experience in memory and enjoying it again — one of savoring's three time modes, alongside anticipating and savoring the present moment.
- remittances
- Money that someone living or working away sends back to family in their home community or country, often regularly, to help support relatives.
- repair attempt repair · repair attempts
- Any statement or action, during or after tension, meant to de-escalate conflict and reconnect before things spiral further.
- replication replicate · replication attempt
- Repeating a study's method with new participants to see whether the original result shows up again — a key test of whether a finding can be trusted.
- resilient reconnection
- The speed and reliability with which a couple returns to warmth, ease, and humor after a fight — so conflict passes like weather rather than becoming a fault line.
- respite respite care
- Temporarily handing the caregiving over to a friend, relative, or paid helper so the main caregiver can rest and recover before stepping back into the role.
- responsive desire
- Sexual interest that emerges in response to pleasure, closeness, and the right context, rather than arriving on its own — described as common and healthy, not a deficit.
- responsiveness PPR · partner responsiveness · perceived partner responsiveness · perceived responsiveness · responsive caregiving · responsive support
- A partner's demonstrated understanding, validation, and care — how much you feel truly seen and supported, which research treats as a core driver of intimacy.
- responsiveness-highlighting
- Framing a thank-you around the sense that a partner's action met your needs — telling them they understood what you wanted — rather than how hard it was.
- restoration-oriented coping
- The side of grieving that deals with the loss's practical fallout — new roles, everyday tasks, and the work of rebuilding a changed life.
- reverse causation
- When the presumed effect may actually be the cause — here, that already-happy couples are more likely to pray together, rather than praying making them happier.
- risk-regulation model risk regulation
- A model of how people balance the wish for closeness against the fear of rejection; feeling sure of a partner's regard lets them risk depending on that partner.
- ritual relationship ritual · relationship rituals · ritual (vs. routine) · ritual of connection · ritual vs. routine · rituals of connection · tradition
- Intentional, recurring moments a couple keeps on purpose — a proper hello and goodbye, a real conversation at day's end — that create shared meaning and keep partners turning toward each other.
- romantic baby talk baby talk
- The higher-pitched, softened way of speaking couples sometimes slip into with each other as a way of expressing tender, intimate affection.
- romantic nostalgia
- Nostalgia aimed specifically at past experiences shared with your own partner — fondly revisiting the relationship's own history rather than an earlier time or a former partner.
- Romeo and Juliet effect
- The folk idea that outside opposition to a relationship — especially from parents — makes romantic love stronger rather than weaker.
- roommate syndrome
- The slow slide where partners stay physically together but drift emotionally apart, running the household as efficient co-managers rather than relating as lovers.
- routine routine (vs. ritual)
- A repeated behavior a couple does out of habit, with no special meaning attached — like brushing teeth or commuting — rather than something that stands for more.
- rumination ruminating
- The repetitive, churning rehearsal of a grievance — going over the same hurt or complaint again and again instead of working through it and setting it down.
- rupture rupture and repair · rupture-and-repair
- A break or tension in a relationship's sense of connection or understanding — a moment of misreading that can either erode the bond or, once repaired, deepen it.