Glossary terms beginning with H

20 terms · H of the glossary

The plain-language glossary behind The Architecture of Intimacy — a field guide to 369 green flags of healthy relationships.

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Terms beginning with H

habituation
The fading of a response to something once it becomes familiar — the same person or routine stirring less and less reaction the more often it repeats. Appears in flag 165 See also: hedonic adaptation, self-expansion
handicap principle
The idea that a signal is trustworthy precisely because it is expensive to produce, since only an honest signaler can afford the cost and faking it is too costly. Appears in flags 254, 347 See also: cheap talk, costly signaling
harsh startup harsh start-up
Opening a hard conversation with criticism, blame, or complaint instead of gently — a tense beginning that tends to set the tone for the rest of the talk. Appears in flags 28, 131 See also: criticism (Gottman sense), gentle start-up
health-related social control negative social control · positive social control · pressuring social control · social control
The strategies partners use to influence each other's health habits, ranging from gentle encouragement and reasoning to nagging, guilt-tripping, or coercion. Appears in flags 259, 272 See also: autonomy support, reactance
heart-rate variability HRV
Beat-to-beat variation in the heart's rhythm, used in research as a marker of how flexibly the heart and nervous system can adapt during stress. Appears in flag 327
hedonic adaptation
The human tendency to adjust to repeated pleasures until they stop feeling pleasurable, so a new car — or a relationship — becomes ordinary background over time. Appears in flag 165 See also: habituation, self-expansion
help-seeking
Reaching outside the relationship for support with a problem; for a couple it is unusual because it depends on both partners agreeing, not just one person. Appears in flag 88 See also: contraindicated, couple therapy
heritability heritable
The share of differences between people in a trait that is explained by their genes rather than by their environment — a partial influence, not all-or-nothing. Appears in flag 271
hidden dream dreams within conflict
The deeper hope or meaning underneath a person's position in a recurring conflict — what the stance protects beyond the surface issue. Appears in flag 143
high-context / low-context communication high-context · low-context
Contrasting styles of expression: high-context speakers rely on tone, implication, and shared cues; low-context speakers rely on direct, explicit words. Partners can differ in which style they read best. Appears in flag 317 See also: double empathy problem
high-context and low-context cultures high-context / low-context cultures · high-context culture · low-context culture
Edward Hall's contrast: in high-context cultures much of a message's meaning lives in shared context and implication, while in low-context cultures meaning lives in the explicit words. Appears in flags 29, 188 See also: double empathy problem, mind-reading expectations
highlight reel
The edited best moments a person chooses to show publicly — the most photogenic slices of a life, with tedium, friction, and ordinary struggle left out. Appears in flag 215 See also: social comparison theory, upward comparison
holding space
Being fully present with someone and their emotional experience without trying to fix them or steer them, so they feel safe enough to feel what they feel. Appears in flag 275 See also: parallel companionship
hope theory Snyder's hope theory
C. R. Snyder's model of hope as goal-directed thinking rather than wishful feeling: the ability to see workable routes toward a goal, plus the motivation to move along them. Appears in flag 276 See also: agency thinking, pathways thinking
horizontal collectivism horizontal collectivist
A form of togetherness built on interdependence among equals — closeness shared side by side and sociably, rather than ranked by hierarchy, duty, or obligation. Appears in flag 282
Humor Styles Questionnaire HSQ
A research questionnaire that measures four distinct styles of humor — warm, self-enhancing, aggressive, and self-mocking — treating humor as different kinds rather than one single trait. Appears in flag 299 See also: affiliative humor, aggressive humor, self-defeating humor
hyperarousal
A state of being stuck on high alert after a shock — tense, jumpy, easily startled, with the body primed for danger even when none is present. Appears in flag 348 See also: betrayal trauma, intrusive rumination
hyperpersonal hyperpersonal trap
Describes screen-based sharing that runs faster and more intensely than it would face to face, because the medium lowers inhibition and hides immediate reactions. Appears in flag 220 See also: media richness theory, self-disclosure
hyperpersonal model social information processing
A view of text-based communication in which people make up for missing voice and face cues by loading words, punctuation, and emoji with warmth, sometimes building strong closeness. Appears in flag 341 See also: cues-filtered-out, media richness theory
hypervigilance hypervigilant attunement
Anxious, constant scanning of a partner for signs of danger — misreading neutral or ambiguous cues as threats, and feeling tense and certain rather than curious. Appears in flag 15