Glossary terms beginning with V
The plain-language glossary behind The Architecture of Intimacy — a field guide to 369 green flags of healthy relationships.
Terms beginning with V
- valence positive valence
- The positive-versus-negative emotional tone of something — here, whether what a partner says after sex is warm and affectionate rather than neutral, cool, or critical.
- validation emotional validation · validate · validated · validating · validating the grievance · validation of feeling
- Communicating that a partner's feelings make sense and are legitimate, even if you don't fully agree with their conclusion or would feel differently yourself.
- values aligned values · personal values
- The core life priorities a person treats as guiding principles — like security, family, faith, or freedom — that shape big choices, unlike mere tastes or opinions.
- venting catharsis
- Expressing anger outwardly to release it. In everyday speech it implies relief, but here it means rehearsing a grievance, which tends to keep anger going.
- visible support visible social support
- Concrete, noticeable help a person clearly registers as being done for them — which, offered during stress, can sometimes leave the recipient feeling less capable rather than more.
- vocal arousal
- The heat carried in a voice — its pitch, pace, and loudness — treated as a signal of emotional intensity in its own right, separate from the words being spoken.
- voice (voice effect) voice
- The chance to state your case before a decision is made - the felt opportunity to be heard, separate from whether it changes the final answer.
- volunteered transparency forthcomingness
- Offering a partner information they never asked about and could have safely kept hidden, shared freely because being known matters more to you than looking untroubled.
- vulnerability first vulnerability · vulnerable
- Choosing to be emotionally open — naming a feeling, an apology, or a need — before you have proof it will be received well; a deliberate risk, not a weakness.
- vulnerability hangover
- The wave of shame, dread, and regret that can follow an act of emotional exposure — the morning-after sense that you shouldn't have shown so much of yourself.
- Vulnerability-Stress-Adaptation model VSA model
- A framework proposing a relationship's course depends on three forces: each partner's enduring vulnerabilities, the outside stress they face, and how well they adapt together.